“Stand by your man,
Give him two arms to cling to,
And something warm to come home to,
Stand by your man,
And show the world you love him,
Keep giving all the love you can.”
– Tammy Wynette
How to be the perfect girlfriend for your guy? There’s more to it than just standing by your man, but the lyrics by songstress Tammy Wynette perfectly sum up what men look for in a girl: They want someone who’s going to be there for them.
The problem is that it’s never easy to know what else they want because guys have this thing where they very rarely talk about their feelings. They keep things bottled up and never tell us what they want us to do.
This can make it hard for you as you aim to be the best girlfriend ever. But it’s okay because Beauty and Tips has got you covered. Let’s take a look at…
50 THINGS YOU NEED TO DO TO BE THE PERFECT GIRLFRIEND
SHOW HIM THAT YOU NEED HIM
Nowadays, women are more independent than ever. Feminism has liberated us, more and more women are landing top-level jobs – and we don’t really need men.
This is problematic because many of us still want men.
But the thing is, a guy isn’t going to be drawn to you if you can’t show him that there’s a need he can fill.
Biologically guys are still the same. They want to play the role of provider, and they want to fill needs.
It’s important that you show him that you’re confident, ambitious and even independent to a degree – but it’s also key that you show him that there’s a need he can fill.
You can do this by letting him fix stuff for you. Show him that you still depend on him for certain things – ask him to help you write a business proposal, ask let him carry for the shopping from the car to the house for you. These are small things but they mean a lot of a man. If you can do everything by yourself, you’re making his role totally redundant. And that isn’t cool, and it won’t help you with this relationship.
Most people like some structure, but if you’re a total control freak who refuses to do anything spontaneously, you’ll struggle to keep hold of a guy.
Guys like to do things on the fly; they enjoy freedom and flexibility, and they don’t want to be constrained by restrictions all the time. If you can’t do something because you weren’t given any prior warning, and if you constantly act like this, he’ll seek adventure elsewhere.
Loosen up and be spontaneous. Be a little crazy if necessary. What’s the worst that can happen?!
GIVE HIM HIS SPACE
He loves spending time with you. He loves being with you and doing stuff with you.
But he also needs his own space, and he needs you to respect that.
Guys do guy stuff. They have beers with their buddies in the bar (and no girls are allowed). They go to sports games.
They like to spend time by themselves, too; they go fishing, they sit in their sheds and indulge in their hobbies.
If you impose too much on his space and are too demanding on his space, your guy won’t be too happy at all. You won’t be the perfect girlfriend – you’ll be the worst!
Enjoy your own space and let him enjoy his. Spend time together but don’t be afraid of spending time apart either.
DON’T BE INSECURE
We know this one is easier said than done. If you have a lot of insecurities and have always had them, it’s very hard to just banish them.
The problem is that, if you can’t at least keep them under control, it’s going to end your relationship. They will manifest themselves in ways that create distance between you and your boyfriend. They’ll eat away at you and chip away at your relationship.
Perfect girlfriends don’t let their insecurities get the better of them. If they have them (and we all do), they control them.
DON’T JUDGE HIM
Guys aren’t always the most self aware. They’ll wear ridiculous clothes and do ridiculous things.
But as easy – and tempting – as it is to judge guys for what they do, this is the LAST thing you should do.
In his mind, the things he does are totally cool. They are his decisions and his mistakes to make.
If you judge him and tell him not to do stuff? It’s going to annoy him and put distance between the two of you.
Be a non-judgemental person for him. Offer criticism and advice but don’t judge.
BE HAPPY AROUND HIM!
Imagine if he turns up to meet you one day and you have a sour face?
Imagine if he hangs out with you and all you can do is complain and whine?
And what if you’re sad all the time?
Laugh with him, tell jokes and have a fun time. Make him want to see you again and again!
As well as not being very self aware a lot of the time, guys often harbour pretty big ambitions and dreams.
Hey, sometimes they achieve their dreams and that’s amazing, it really is.
But sometimes they don’t – and sometimes you know they never will.
However, if you’re in a relationship with a guy you HAVE to support his dreams, goals and ambitions.
Be his biggest cheerleader. Be the one on the sideline who’s telling him he can do this. Pick him up when he’s down, show him that you believe in him. He can’t do anything without you – needs you by his side. Don’t let him down.
TAKE AN INTEREST IN HIS INTERESTS
Naturally, there will be things he’s into that you either don’t dig at all or don’t have any knowledge about.
But instead or remaining ignorant or apathetic, show some interest in his interests.
Why? A guy doesn’t need you to take up his passions and hobbies, but he wants to share them with you. Hobbies mean a lot to men and they want to take to their partners about them. Let him. Ask questions about his interests – take an interest.
They say that the best way to a man’s stomach.
But this surely isn’t true, right?
Actually, it probably is.
In a man’s eyes, if you can cook great meals, you’re a keeper.
Look, men get hungry a lot. They eat a LOT.
They don’t always have the time to cook themselves, and when they do try to cook, they usually burn something.
Which is why it’s really great when a girl comes along who can not only cook, but who can cook amazingly well.
Heard the expression “hangry”? It refers to someone who’s so hungry that they’re now angry.
When guys eat good food, they feel AMAZING. And they have a lot of love for whoever cooked them that good food. Just make sure it’s you, okay? Great.
DON’T POSSESS HIM
Yeah, he kinda is yours.
But that’s not the same as him being your property.
If you try to possess him, he’ll start to feel trapped and he’ll want out.
To be the perfect girlfriend, you need to act like he’s yours – but you mustn’t possess him. It’s a fine line but it’s as simple as giving him his space and letting him live his life. Don’t hem him in.
GET ALONG WITH HIS FRIENDS
We know. The first time you met his friends, you didn’t like them.
Maybe you darn well hated them. They drink, make crude jokes, watch sports and seem a bit lazy.
But hey they’re his friends. They’re his crew and the last thing he wants is a conflict between you and his friends.
Guys need their girls to get along with their friends, otherwise this just isn’t going to work. Work hard to get to know his friends. If you really don’t like them, just deal with them. But don’t make this aspect of your relationship difficult because it could ultimately cost you.
True, trust has to be earned. But some girls literally never trust their men – even when their men haven’t done anything to break the trust.
If your guy has never cheated on you, you need to show him that you trust him. This is VERY important. Without trust, a relationship just can’t survive. You might not realise it, but your lack of trust will manifest itself in various ways via snide comments or bad habits that begin to get on his nerves.
You might say things like, “you’ve been seeing a lot of her recently,” and while in your mind you just want some reassurance from him, he’s going to think you don’t trust him – and this can erode a relationship.
Show him you trust him. Don’t be jealous. Let him do his thing, be positive and confident in yourself and what you bring to this relationship. Why would he want to look anywhere else when he has you?
Nobody wants a negative girlfriend who can’t even bring herself to smile.
And your man certainly doesn’t want that.
Negativity brings us down. It infects us and kills our spirit.
If you want to be the perfect girlfriend for your guy, you need to have a positive outlook.
Be a glass is half full person. Be optimistic about everything that you do. Smile, laugh, adopt a can-do attitude.
BE SYMPATHETIC WHEN HE’S HUNGOVER
Admit it – you LOL’d.
We LOL’d when we wrote this and had to ask ourselves, “can we really include this?”
But you know what? We sure can!
Look, every now and then, a guy wants to go out drinking with his buddies. As long as he doesn’t do it all the time, we think any girl should be totally cool with it.
The morning after the night before, he’s going to be pretty tired and hungover.
Which means that, no, he probably won’t be in the mood to go shopping with you.
And, no, he won’t want to work on the bathroom today.
And, no, he won’t want to see your mom.
He might not even want to spend much time with you. Instead, he’ll probably want to curl up into a ball and just die.
So let him do that. Don’t nag him, don’t nudge him, don’t berate him and don’t complain to him about him. Just let him be.
And THAT’S what makes the perfect girlfriend, ladies.
DON’T SPEAK ILL OF HIM TO OTHERS
We can’t for the life of us think why a woman would ever speak badly of her boyfriend to her friends. But it happens.
Will he ever find out? Maybe not. But how you act when he’s not around matters just as much as how you act when he is around. If you’ve no integrity and don’t mind bad mouthing him, you’re not a perfect girlfriend.
You know what he really wants you to do? He wants you to love yourself.
He doesn’t want you to hate and berate yourself. He doesn’t want you to obsess over your stomach, declare that no clothes look good on you, and refuse to leave the house because of how you look.
He doesn’t want you to cry constantly about your looks, and he definitely doesn’t want you to tell him repeatedly that you hate yourself.
It makes you feel lousy, it makes him feel lousy and it ruins the relationship.
So don’t do it. To be the best girlfriend possible, present to him the best version of you possible. Love yourself and your relationship with your man will flower.
DON’T MAKE HIM FEEL JEALOUS
We know you wouldn’t cheat on him and maybe he knows it too.
But what you might not realise is that some of your behaviour might be causing him to feel jealous … and that’s kinda not cool.
Flirting with other guys? Not cool.
Talking to other guys a lot online? Not cool.
Being really secretive over your phone and who you talk to? Not cool.
Got a “work husband”? NOT COOL.
For this to work, you need to be the perfect girlfriend. And to be the perfect girlfriend, you need to make sure that he has no reasons to feel jealous.
If he feels jealous without you doing anything to provoke it, that’s his problems. But if you know that you’re doing stuff that could upset him and make him jelly, you need to cut it out.
We all know that girls love surprises, but did you know that guys love surprises, too?
Yup, they totally do!
Buy him an unexpected gift now and then. It doesn’t have to be anything major – it could be a ticket to see his favourite team, or it could be a McDonald’s meal that you picked up on the way home from work.
Each time you get him an awesome surprise, we can guarantee that he’ll brag to his mates about you.
“Guys, I’ve got the best girlfriend EVER.”
We know guys who say that their girlfriends NEVER complimented them.
There are girls out there who – for whatever reason – keep their compliments to themselves. They might like something about a guy but they don’t come out and say it.
And the one time they do shoot him a compliment is to say that his sweater looks good.
Really? Is that the best you’ve got?
During the first few weeks of dating, guys want to hear comments about how they look.
“You have great lips,” or “I love your eyes,” always go down well.
But once the two of you have settled into a cosy relationship, they want you to go into specifics. They want you to compliment their intangible qualities that essentially make them who they are.
For example you could say to your man that you love the way he protects you and looks after you. Or you could say that you love the way he picks you up when you feel down.
These are very specific compliments that will make him feel good about himself, as well as this relationship at large.
From now on, stop keeping those compliments locked up. Open your mouth, find something you love about him and let him know, girl! He WANTS to hear it.
INTRODUCE HIM TO YOUR MALE FRIENDS
Got male friends? Got male friends you’re actually kinda close to?
Then don’t you think it’s time that you introduced your boyfriend to your male friends?
Look, he knows you hang out with guys. You’ve told him.
But what he doesn’t know is what goes on when you hang out with guys.
You come home from work and you talk to him about your day. You mention Kevin from HR who you have a laugh with.
To you, this is totally innocent. Sure, you have a laugh with Kevin from HR but you know that you’d never date him. You don’t see him like that.
The problem is that your boyfriend has never met Kevin from HR and has no idea what he’s really like. Is he ridiculously good looking, is he charming, is he trying to get into you?
So that your boyfriend doesn’t start to get worried, paranoid or even jealous, the best thing to do is to let him meet your male friends. It will put his mind at rest and strengthen your relationship. Organise an evening out where you can all meet and let him see that your male friends are just that – friends you would never date.
LISTEN TO HIM WHEN HE’S IN A BAD MOOD
Okay, we all know that guys can get into some pretty bad moods.
Sometimes, they get into some vicious moods.
But look, when your man isn’t doing so well – perhaps he’s had a fight with his best friend or had a bad day at the office – he doesn’t need you to offer him solutions. He isn’t looking for someone who has all the answers.
He just wants you to listen.
This can be hard to do for some women; we feel like it’s our duty to intervene and offer our man some advice.
But he doesn’t want that. He just wants you to smooth out his mood by giving him your ear.
Alternatively, instead of giving him advice, disrupt his patten of thought by taking him somewhere. Take his mind off things with a meal or a drive. Suggest that the two of you do something together. Be the perfect girlfriend.
BE ON TIME (ISH)
There was an episode of the American sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond that perfectly illustrated how frustrated men get when their partners are always late.
Ray finally snaps when his wife is late once again for an important dinner. At the end of his wits, and firmly believing that she doesn’t respect him, he drives off without her.
Of course, it’s the wrong way to deal with the situation, and Ray probably got it wrong when he thought his wife’s constant lateness meant she didn’t care for him. But the fact is that our lateness can really get on a man’s nerves.
Women take time to get ready. We know this and guys know this. But if you’re constantly late for things – especially things that are important to him – you’re not playing the rule of perfect girlfriend.
Try to be on time most of the time. If you must be late, try not to be more than 10 minutes late. He’ll really appreciate it and you’ll be moving up to the role of perfect girlfriend, yay!
DO YOUR OWN THING
It’s real sweet when a woman takes an interest in a man’s hobbies. He likes that. He wants you to show an interest in what he does.
It’s not even so bad if you watch a game with him now and then, and even take a liking to one of his hobbies.
Things become an issue, though, when all of his hobbies become your hobbies – or when you no longer have any hobbies of your own.
Basically, you’ve decided that the two of you are One and that you have no life outside this relationship.
Cute? Nope. It’s going to suffocate him.
A guy – any guy – wants his girl to do her own thing. He wants her to have her own life outside this relationship.
He wants her to have her own hobbies and her own interests.
The last thing he wants is for him to be pottering away with his hobby while you sit on the couch with your phone, huffing because you won’t spend the time with him.
When he’s busy doing his thing, make sure you’re busy doing your thing – he’ll love that.
SHOW HIM LOVE
Show him love – lots of love. Hold him, cuddle him, hug him and embrace him.
Pick him up when he’s down. Look after him when he’s sick. Be nice to him, be kind to him and don’t be intentionally mean to him.
Display your love, show your love and love him with all that you’ve got.
LET HIM WATCH HIS SPORTS
Some girls get really fussy about this one.
“You know, I’m glad he isn’t into sports. I couldn’t date someone who’s into sports.”
Er, he WAS into sports until you told him he couldn’t watch them anymore!
The thing is that most guys love sports – it’s probably something like 8 out of 10 guys.
Some guys love more than one sports; they’ll watch soccer, basketball, cricket, golf … the works!
And his love of sports isn’t something you should tamper with. Instead, you should just let him enjoy it.
Naturally, you don’t want a boyfriend whose life is literally consumed by sports – that would be hell. If he watches a tad too much, just have a chat with him and tell him you’d like him to cut his obsession down.
Otherwise, don’t nag him. Don’t demand he has to go shopping with you or see your mother in law when the playoffs are on. Show him that you’re willing to let him enjoy his sports. It’ll make you the perfect girlfriend in his eyes.
BE CLEAR ABOUT STUFF
Oh, you hate mind games? We’ve got news for you – guys hate mind games, too.
They HATE it when you’re vague about your feelings. They want clarity from you. Otherwise? This is a relationship that’s too stressful for them. It’s not what they need – and they might be inclined to look elsewhere.
That sounds harsh but guys want honesty. They want you to tell them EXACTLY what you’re thinking. Don’t make them guess. Don’t “test” them by seeing how well they know you without you having to say something. Speak up and be clear about what you want and how you’re feeling.
LOOK AFTER YOURSELF
It’s okay to pig out and eat junk now and then.
But it’s not okay to let yourself go so that it looks as though you don’t care about yourself anymore.
Keep in shape. Eat healthily. Look after your body and health for him.
LOOK GREAT WHEN YOU GO OUT WITH HIM
Guys really appreciate it when their women make the effort to look great each time they go out together.
We don’t mean that you should take the time to get dolled up to pop to the shops. But if you’re going out – even if it’s just to hang out with his friends – he wants you to look fabulous.
Guys want to show their women off. He loves you, you’re beautiful and having you by his side makes him feel amazing. It makes him feel confident and awesome and he appreciates how much time it takes you to get yourself ready so that you look amazing each time you step out with him.
AIM FOR EQUALITY
Sure, men like to take the lead. They like to play the role of protector and they want to be able to care for you and provide for you.
Men also like it when they earn the most money out of the two of you. It validates their role in this relationship.
At the same time, guys don’t like to be taken for a ride. As much as they want to play their role, they want you to play your roles, too.
Equality is important in a relationship. Who should pay for dates? The guy will happily pay for the first one, but he’ll be expecting you to be equally generous with your money.
Don’t put all of this on him and make him put in all the effort. Aim for equality.
BE A WOMAN
This one sounds like it should be obvious, but in 2018 it sadly isn’t.
Too many woman are focused on political correctness, rights and “overcoming the patriarchy” that they forget what it means to be a woman.
To be a woman means to know and use your femininity. This means looking nice, smelling nice. It means not cussing in public, not being vulgar and not giving into gossip. It means not being more drunk than him in public and causing a scene. It means be polite with your language, respectful with your dress and courteous with your manners.
It means carrying yourself with grace, taking care of yourself. It means being sensitive, well-spoken, compassionate, loving and caring.
BE THE BEST GIRLFRIEND EVER AROUND HIS PARENTS
As well as impressing him with your perfect girlfriend act, you also need to impress his parents.
The best way to a man’s heart (after his stomach) is through his parents. If you set a shining example in front of his mom and she falls in love with you, you’re doing well.
Don’t stop there – be a doll around his whole family! Make sure they love you, girl!
DON’T NAG HIM
We all try not to be the girlfriend who nags our man. We grew up with our mom who nagged our dad and we knew how much he hated it.
We told ourselves we’re not going to nag our boyfriends. It’s 2018 and nagging is old school.
Yet somehow, somewhere along the line, we started to nag. How did THAT happen?!
Nagging seems to be in the female DNA (it actually isn’t) and it can ruin relationships. We don’t like to do it, guys hate it – yet we still do it.
We could pin the blame on the man and say that if he actually did what we asked him to do the first time, there’d be no need to nag him.
However, this one is all on you. If you don’t want to nag him but want him to do something, you’ll need to change how you talk to him.
Don’t order him to do something – ask him.
If he still hasn’t done it – ask him kindly again but in a way that he’ll respond.
Say something like, “If I do the laundry tonight, could you take care of that mess in the garage? It would be a massive help and then we could watch a movie together.”
Nagging will just annoy him and make him not want to do something. You need to talk to him like he’s a proper human being, ha!
Yes, a man wants to be around a woman who’s sure of herself. He wants to be with a woman who’s sure of her role in this relationship and who knows that she’s the best thing for her man right now.
So display your confidence. Don’t ruin this by constantly asking him if he still likes you. Present the best version of yourself to him. Be secure about yourself and this relationship. He’ll LOVE that.
DON’T FLIRT WITH OTHERS
Ever. If you do this, you’re giving him a reason to be jealous, and you’re also going to hurt him pretty badly.
For as long as you’re with him, your flirting day are over.
STROKE HIS EGO
Girl, we all know about the male ego.
If you know about it, why aren’t you stroking it yet?!
The male ego NEEDS to be stroked. Modern man literally can’t cope unless he’s told how awesome he is. He’ll malfunction!
Tell him that you love his strength, his muscles, his hair, his smile. Boost his confidence every once in a while. Your relationship will definitely improve.
GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS AND NEEDS
You can’t really give him what he wants and needs until you know what these are. Find out what they are, and make damn sure you meet his requirements.
DON’T ASK LOTS OF QUESTIONS
“So where have you been today?”
“What have you been up to?”
“Why didn’t you do what I asked you to do?”
Asking him lots of questions is a lot like nagging him – and he hates it. He hates his every move being questioned, and this is a surefire way to land yourself in his bad books as The Bad Girlfriend.
Just quit the questions. Have some trust. You don’t NEED to know his every move.
If he’s going out with the boys, you don’t need to know where he’s going.
If he’s an hour late coming home from a night with the boys, you don’t need to ask him why.
Take it easy, be nice and chill and let him do his thing. Be confident in your role here and have trust in him. These two things will make your relationship so much easier and they’ll improve your relationship hugely.
HELP HIM OUT
We’re sure there’s been lots of times when he’s helped you out. So are you going to return the favour and help him out? Or are you going to go missing?
When he needs help, be there for him. If he asks you to lend him a hand, lend it. Let him know that he can count on you when he needs it.
QUIT BRINGING UP HIS PAST MISTAKES
Guys HATE this.
Let’s imagine that you two had planned to go to a concert together. It was a band you both liked and you were looking forward to it.
Then he cancelled.
He didn’t cancel because he was sick – he canceled because there was an important soccer game on that night that he HAD to see.
The thing is that he’d always told you this could happen (because of the playoffs or something, who knows?!), but you were still left reeling.
To you, it wasn’t so much that it was unforgivable – it was more that you felt spurned. It felt like it was him showing you that he actually doesn’t love you all that much
And so for the next few months and even years, you continue to bring it up.
“This is just like that time you cancelled on me for that concert!”
Sadly, girls are like this. We can’t let go of things. We don’t really want to do it, but we can’t help reminding our men of the times they’ve stood us up or let us down. We want to punish them for their mistakes.
Guys don’t like this and it doesn’t make you a perfect girlfriend. They KNOW they made a mistake and they’re going to try really hard to make sure it doesn’t happen again. But they don’t want you to constantly remind them of their mistakes. So don’t do it.
Guys don’t like to go shopping for perfumes, and they haven’t got a clue what scent you’re wearing today.
All they know is that they like it when their woman smells amazing. So smell amazing for him!
Do you have other tips on how to be a good girlfriend? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below.